Separation After Childbirth

The bond parents make with their children after birth is crucial to ensuring strong brain

development and adaptation to the new world around them. A newborn child may have

imprints of separation when they’re taken away from their parents after birth. Whether it

be to get washed, measured and weighed, or other forms of testing, a newborn child

being separated from their parents, even for just a short period of time, can lead to

childhood trauma.

Premature babies, for instance, are separated from their parents and are cared for in

neonatal intensive care units. Twenty or forty years ago these facilities weren’t designed

to keep close contact between parents and their children. Parents had perhaps a few

hours a day to visit and spend time with their child. Children might have been separated

from their parents for weeks or even months. However, nowadays most neonatal units

are more focused on ensuring parents bond with their child frequently and in close

proximity, as research has shown the importance this bond has on early childhood

development. A strong parent-child bond requires love, comfort, warmth and

connection. The child will hold onto these attributes as they grow and will eventually

pass them along to their children.

If pain and isolation are present from the start of the child’s life, and these feelings are

left untreated, the child could perceive this as their “norm” and always remember the

the pain of the separation from their parents. Sadly, newborns who spend more time with

machines, lights and incubators, rather than with their parents, will become closer to

machines rather than people.

The following often occur later in life for newborns that are separated at birth from their

parents for an extended period of time:

The following often occur later in life for newborns that are separated at birth from their

parents for an extended period of time:

● Difficulty making a deep connection

● Impossible to show their true self

● Behaviour and social-emotional problems

● Difficulty making physical contact with others, like a simple hug

● Trouble showing emotions because early on they learn nobody will answer

their needs

● Problems dealing with stress because they are missing skin to skin

contact

● Higher stress levels cause inflammation in the body, which can lead to all

sorts of physical and mental problems

If any of these situations ring a bell and feel very similar to you, family constellation

therapy may be the perfect tool to help guide you and your child through your trauma

journey. Our therapy will help you acknowledge any early childhood trauma and begin

your healing journey to establish a safe environment filled with love and support.

For more details on family constellation therapy, feel free to contact us. You can also

visit our website to see upcoming family constellation events.