Updated: Mar 7
Babies may have imprints from separation when they have been taken away from their mothers after birth. They could be taken away for washing, suctioning, measuring, drops, heal picks, or testing. Another time their mother is unavailable due to a medical emergency. Not only that, but premature babies are taken from their mother and father to the neonatal intensive care unit. Nowadays, some intensive care units are built to keep close contact between babies and parents, but some of them are not. 20-40 years ago was common to be separated. Mother and father had a few hours to visit their new baby.
Babies may be separated for a few minutes, which seems like a lifetime to them and their mothers. Sometimes they are separated for weeks and months. The longer the separation time is the bigger the impact on the babies.
Babies need to bond with someone or something, and because brain development and adaptation to the world depend on bonding, whoever or whatever is there at and after birth will become a reference point for their world. That works well when love, comfort, warmth, and connection are present. A baby, later a child and an adult, will seek similar feelings in life and pass them along to their children.
If the pain and isolation are present and left untreated, those feelings will form a norm and be determinant. Sadly, those babies who spent more time with machines, lights, and incubators than their parents will become closer to machines rather than people. These babies will always remember the pain of the separation.
Often occurs the following for these babies, children, adults:
hard to make a deep connection almost
impossible to show their true self
behaviour and social-emotional problems
it is hard to have physical contact with others, like a simple hug
hard to show emotions because early on, they learn nobody will answer their needs
harder to deal with stress because they are missing the skin to skin touch
the higher stress level causes inflammation in the body, which can lead to all kinds of physical and mental problems.
If you ring the bell and these feel very similar to you, Family Constellation can be the perfect tool for you. By creating your new safe environment and order of love. Acknowledge what happened and ease the tension of the separation experience. We try to replace and heal it with new methods and realization. We see and held that baby with unconditional love.
Contact me for more details and check out our next upcoming Family Constellation event.