The bond parents make with their children after birth is crucial to ensuring strong brain
development and adaptation to the new world around them. A newborn child may have
imprints of separation when they’re taken away from their parents after birth. Whether it
be to get washed, measured and weighed, or other forms of testing, a newborn child
being separated from their parents, even for just a short period of time, can lead to
childhood trauma.
Premature babies, for instance, are separated from their parents and are cared for in
neonatal intensive care units. Twenty or forty years ago these facilities weren’t designed
to keep close contact between parents and their children. Parents had perhaps a few
hours a day to visit and spend time with their child. Children might have been separated
from their parents for weeks or even months. However, nowadays most neonatal units
are more focused on ensuring parents bond with their child frequently and in close
proximity, as research has shown the importance this bond has on early childhood
development. A strong parent-child bond requires love, comfort, warmth and
connection. The child will hold onto these attributes as they grow and will eventually
pass them along to their children.
If pain and isolation are present from the start of the child’s life, and these feelings are
left untreated, the child could perceive this as their “norm” and always remember the
the pain of the separation from their parents. Sadly, newborns who spend more time with
machines, lights and incubators, rather than with their parents, will become closer to
machines rather than people.
The following often occur later in life for newborns that are separated at birth from their
parents for an extended period of time:
The following often occur later in life for newborns that are separated at birth from their
parents for an extended period of time:
● Difficulty making a deep connection
● Impossible to show their true self
● Behaviour and social-emotional problems
● Difficulty making physical contact with others, like a simple hug
● Trouble showing emotions because early on they learn nobody will answer
their needs
● Problems dealing with stress because they are missing skin to skin
contact
● Higher stress levels cause inflammation in the body, which can lead to all
sorts of physical and mental problems
If any of these situations ring a bell and feel very similar to you, family constellation
therapy may be the perfect tool to help guide you and your child through your trauma
journey. Our therapy will help you acknowledge any early childhood trauma and begin
your healing journey to establish a safe environment filled with love and support.
For more details on family constellation therapy, feel free to contact us. You can also
visit our website to see upcoming family constellation events.
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