The Memory of Lost Twins
Updated: Oct 4, 2020
The ultrasound revealed that 8-10% of all pregnancies are twin pregnancy, but only 1% of the living twin is born. The ultrasound shows 1-2 mm embryos three weeks after fertility.
There are also cases where they are embedded in such a way that they can only be discovered much later – or if one of them did not die. Because the routine ultrasound test usually takes place after the 3rd month, by then, if there was a twin pregnancy, one of the twins could have already disappeared. If the test is performed earlier, the twins lost at the beginning of pregnancy will be visible.
We also know that the embryo feels the sounds of its environment before its own heart starts to beat, so in addition to the sounds from the mother's body, it also senses the sounds coming from her twins: her blood flow, her movements made noises - so the twins know each other from the beginning.
Ultrasound pictures and movies of older fetuses show how they hug each other, play later and communicate with each other - all this is happening even before their mother could sense their movements.
Then in the vast majority of cases, tragedy happens: life signs coming from one of the embryos are weaker when it comes to an older fetus usually, the heartbeat is weaker. The heart slows down, then the movements stop - and the other feels and lives through this process of a dying twin. If all of this happens in the second trimester of pregnancy, the surviving child often goes to one side of the mother’s womb and hardly moves until birth – presumably not to have to contact the hardened twins remains. The taste of fetal water is also changing. Since the taste buds are already there during the 10th week of pregnancy, you can also sense this.
The fact that someone had to experience his twin brother dies next to him and he is helpless seems to leave permanent marks on his emotional function and connection mode. These facts were formulated by psychotherapists even before the Family Constellation method was born.
What has been described is well supported by foreign literature and our own experience. Due to shared experience, a typical syndrome band was drawn, which was named Lost Twin Syndrome." (Dr. Mary Angster)
Family Constellation is a perfect tool to properly say goodbye to your lost twin with the promise that you will see each other when the time is right. After the Family Constellation session, you may feel emotional, sad a little, but you will understand what happened with you, and you will find your answers for habits you never understood. A couple of weeks after the meeting you will find yourself happier, lighter, and you can move forward and find your happiness.